That’s me refusing to write on this blog-thing.

Also, I’ve developed this uncanny and self-defensive mechanism for sarcasm.

Face it, we all internalize our problems; the real difference lies in how we handle them.

And so, the continuously compounded effect of my deliberately trying to avoid my neurobiology exam, has resulted in this. I can’t concentrate anymore. Really. I’ve tried every possible approach—I’ve tried leaving this blog to rot in its own myriad puss of selfishness. I’ve tried studying at LSM. I’ve tried internalizing my humanity, or what’s left of it, and I’ve even tried password-protecting myself from… myself. Doesn’t work. Does Not Work.

I’ve failed as a human being.

On another note, albeit a bass note or something raspy and slightly more depressing than that, I have again successfully contributed to the downfall of the human race. See, this is the part where I wheel around in circles hoping to land an idea or an excuse for my never-ending bouts of social failure, but I won’t. I’ll skip that.

I need to grow up. And I think it’s almost time actually. It’s time for another turnover; It’s been I’d say, close to a year since I started this thing, and it’s helped me think things through (to some extent anyway). I never meant to humiliate anyone in anyway; I really am sorry if in fact, I did that. And truthfully, all I did was hit up the search box and decided to start a conversation. I mean, yes it was ambiguous and unorthodox and socially not-right, but I honestly didn’t mean to “harm” anyone by it. I didn’t have alterior motives. I asked one question, which turned into another question, which turned into another, then another, and soon enough you have yourself a qualified broken conversation on the internet.

I don’t know, I’m really bad with people. I don’t know how much more or how much longer I can write on this. This blog keeps me sequestered from society. I need to change that. I need to change this. I need to change me.

This was the whole point of Blockbuster. The whole point of direct social contact with other talking, moving, mind-boggling individuals generated to work, compete, and converse all day. That was the point of it all. And I think herein lies the last problem. This blog. This blog has got to go. I’m officially shutting it down. For my sake, and for all of humanity’s sake.

I am however, keeping everything intact. For my purposes, if no one’s. I wanna look back on this someday, and think:  Steffi… what the fuck were you thinking?

[The End]